Man Utd plunged into ‘transfer chaos’ amid ‘bad management’ and surprise Pochettino return

There is ‘transfer chaos’ at Man Utd after an ‘oversight’ which they aren’t guilty of whatsoever, while Mauricio Pochettino is coming back to Old Trafford.

Returns policy
First things first: congratulations to each of the following for services to complete and utter sh*thousery…

‘Mauricio Pochettino set to make managerial return at Old Trafford as he prepares to take Chelsea job’ – The Sun website.

‘Mauricio Pochettino to return to dugout at Old Trafford as Chelsea start date confirmed’ – Daily Mirror website.

‘Mauricio Pochettino new manager job finally confirmed – but not at Chelsea’ – London Evening Standard.

‘Mauricio Pochettino confirms management return as Chelsea close in on boss’ – Daily Star website.

‘Mauricio Pochettino returns to football management – and it’s in England’ – The Independent.

Never has Soccer Aid been more relevant than when there are misleading clicks to hoover up.

An oversight for sore eyes
The crowbarring in of Old Trafford was a particular highlight of those headlines, with any content creator worth their salt knowing full well that even a vague scent of Man Utd can elevate any story.

Chuck in some transfer mismanagement and you have a veritable gold mine.

‘Man Utd oversight set to ruin Erik ten Hag plan as first transfer may be unable to play,’ says the Daily Mirror website. And that does sound like a rather egregious case of ‘making a mistake because you forget to do something or you do not notice something’.

There are even quotes, with the agent of Napoli defender Kim Min-jae denying that a deal has been agreed with Man Utd, while adding that: “In any case, he has to enrol for military service in June.”

The three weeks of military service Kim must undergo is, by the Mirror’s own admission, ‘unlikely to make any huge impact on his football career’. Mainly because it will be done in three weeks, and doesn’t at all prevent his representatives from doing anything.

But apparently it brings ‘an added layer of complication’ to any ‘summer transfer and preparation’, which is where Man Utd come in.

Yet Mediawatch has two problems: there is no suggestion that Man Utd aren’t or weren’t actually already aware of this information; and Kim’s service would be completed by July at the latest. So it is sensationalised nonsense to describe it as an ‘oversight’ and he only ‘may be unable to play’ for a small portion at the start of pre-season if he does join.

Aside from that, which is unfortunately the entire basis of the article, completely spot on.

Chaos theory
Quite inevitably, The Sun website latches onto this story and somehow make themselves look like even bigger fools.

‘Man Utd transfer chaos as agent reveals top target to join military’

Well Kim isn’t ‘joining the military’ so much as he is serving a mandatory and reduced three-week training block which will not have much impact whatsoever on his footballing career.

And ‘transfer chaos’ is sensational. It does feel like Man Utd were probably aware of this a while back and are thus sufficiently prepared.

READ MORE: Man Utd prepare stunning bid for Real Madrid duo as potential new owner sets ambitious ‘goal’

Don’t call my name, Alejandro
That overreaction fits in quite neatly with this from the Daily Mirror website…

‘Garnacho’s agent hits out at “bad management” after Ten Hag challenge’

…in which the agent of Alejandro Garnacho criticises the “very bad management” of the Spanish Football Federation, the winger having opted to switch his international eligibility to Argentina.

The ‘Ten Hag challenge’? To compete for a starting XI place at Man Utd. Which is entirely unrelated to the story.

Private eye
In another delightful case of quotes being wilfully and woefully misused for the headline of a story, the Daily Mirror website also reveals: ‘De Bruyne’s ‘private personal issue’ behind telling Guardiola to shut up’.

Here are Thierry Henry’s words in full: “It was [a touching moment]. I can’t say it because I have to keep that private. But from what he said to me, I even more respect how he played tonight and how he came and battled with his team. I can’t share what he said because I can’t share it. That’s how it is. But once again I will go back to, for me he is the most important player.”

Any mention of the instance in which De Bruyne was seen telling Guardiola to shut up? Nope.

Any correlation drawn between De Bruyne informing Henry of “private” issues and then telling Guardiola to shut up specifically because of those same “private” issues? Nope.

Does it matter when there are clicks to be had? Apparently not.

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
It is very fun to read David McDonnell in the Daily Mirror laying out the brilliance of Manchester City, saying they are ‘shaping up to be’ Pep Guardiola’s ‘greatest side’ and a team which could ‘dominate both domestically and in Europe for years to come’, before writing the following in consecutive paragraphs:

‘Against that backdrop, why would any player want to leave City? Ilkay Gundogan and Bernardo Silva, both of whom stepped up in recent weeks to drag City closer to the Treble, could both be on their way this summer.

‘Gundogan is out of contract this summer and wants more than City’s offer of another year, while Bernardo is keen to leave for Spain, for lifestyle reasons. But with City so dominant at home and abroad, both may ultimately be persuaded to stay, to help continue the club’s frightening dominance.’

Why would any player want to leave City? Maybe because one of them wants more than City’s offer of another year, while the other is keen to leave for Spain, for lifestyle reasons.

‘Man City duo would be crazy to leave Pep Guardiola’s latest dynasty as glory awaits,’ reads the headline. Gundogan is 32, has been at City for seven years and realises his next contract is likely to be his last big one. Silva has long been considering a move to Spain. Both would have won pretty much everything possible if they secure even just the Champions League this season. How ‘crazy’ is it really that they’re contemplating their futures?

THREE and easy
The Daily Mirror website must be feeling the Friday traffic crunch because this is another solid deception:

‘Man City boss slams THREE Premier League rivals after win over Real Madrid’

Describing a ‘Man City boss’ seems like an immediate red flag and so it proves, for this is a message not from Guardiola but CEO Ferran Soriano.

And how precisely did he slam three THREE Premier League rivals?

“Look, you only have to look at the investment in players in England in the last year, three years, five years… we are never the club spending the most on players. There are many other clubs investing more money than us – Chelsea, Manchester United, Arsenal. Saying that we’ve spent a lot of money and we won because of that is just not true.”

Steady there, Ferran. These people have families. No need to be so vicious.

Thank you for my AZ
Writes The Sun‘s Jordan Davies of West Ham beating AZ Alkmaar:

‘The Scot led Everton to a 3-2 Uefa Cup victory here back in 2007, ending the Dutch side’s 32-game and 30-year unbeaten home run in European competitions going back to 1977.

‘Since then, at a fortress of a ground surrounded by a moat, Alkmaar have never lost here to an English team.’

Alkmaar have played two home games against English teams since, drawing both. It’s not exactly Chelsea at Stamford Bridge during Jose Mourinho’s first reign.