Manchester United in advanced talks to sign Neymar? No, Ney, never…

Ian Watson
Paris Saint-Germain's Neymar Jr celebrates scoring a goal in a Coupe de France game.

It’s probably b*llocks. But if there is even a smidgen of truth in reports from France that suggest Manchester United are advanced in talks to sign Neymar from Paris Saint-Germain, then the Red Devils should take a moment and give their heads a wobble.

According to L’Equipe, United are putting the pincers on the Brazil superstar. ‘Discussions have begun’ between PSG and the Red Devils, we are told, presumably by someone closer to Paris than Carrington.

After all, United coming for Neymar would solve a massive problem for PSG. The club want his salary off their books as they at least pretend to go in a different direction away from the glitz, glamour and grief. And the fans would willingly chip in for a first-class plane ticket to get the 31-year-old away from the Parc des Princes, as long as it is one way.

For the last decade at least, page one in the playbook when trying to engineer interest in a player – either on the part of a club or an agent – is to let it be known that Manchester United are sniffing around. We suspect that’s all there is to this story linking the megastar with a move to Old Trafford.

But signing Neymar still sounds like a very Manchester United thing to do. Even this United, where corners are being turned on and off the pitch under Erik ten Hag. The obvious question would be around who is holding these talks while United remain in takeover limbo. Doubtless, though, there are still decision-makers at the club who would look at Neymar’s profile and fancy a piece of it.

Mercifully, with Ten Hag, there is now at least one adult in the room. And if the manager was to be offered Neymar on a plate, he would surely decline. For many, many good reasons.

Anyone might be tempted. Neymar is a ridiculously talented footballer, one of precious few who might have broken Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi’s Ballon d’Or domination. The reasons he hasn’t are the same that should see United swerve any attempt by PSG to park the 31-year-old at Old Trafford, even if only on a loan arrangement.

Ten Hag has spent his first year desperately trying to change the culture at the club – with no little success. There is still work to do, of course, and that will continue this summer when he looks to usher a number of players still remaining from the era in which profile mattered more than perspiration.

He passed Paul Pogba going the other way when he walked through the door and he ushered Ronaldo towards it at the first available opportunity. Why the f*** would he open it now for a player carrying even more baggage than the virus and the problem he’s already seen off?

A cursory glance over his six years in Paris after making a world-record move in 2017 should make any buyer beware. Controversies outnumber trophies – and there have been a dozen of them so far with another waiting to be engraved.

Paris Saint-Germain's Neymar Jr, on crutches, holds a birthday celebration for friends and family in March 2023.

To name but a few: punching fans, insulting officials, agitating for transfers, partying and holidaying amid Covid, multiple dressing-room bust-ups, a trial for fraud and corruption, late-night casino trips, reportedly turning up for training worse for wear, booed numerous times for varying reasons by his own fans, dropped by Nike after he refused to co-operate in a good-faith investigation into a sexual assault allegation, and a not-so-curious habit of being injured or suspended around the time of the Rio Carnival or his sister’s birthday.

Neymar’s injury record is reason enough to take a pass on the 31-year-old. Come the end of the season, according to Transfermarkt, he will have missed 112 games through injury and 18 more because of suspension. In six seasons at PSG, the £198million signing has been unavailable for 40% of their matches.

It’s a cushy gig for the ex-Barcelona star and it’s little wonder that he has been keen to stick around, with the most recent of a few ill-advised contract extensions tying him to Paris until 2027 by which time Neymar will be 35. Christ knows what that will look like.

PSG can’t afford to wait to find out – they need him gone. If Manchester United are ever tempted, they just have to consider the many, many reasons why.

Read more: Transfer gossip: Man Utd step up Neymar pursuit as Liverpool join race for England defender

F365 Says Neymar