Top scorers in 2023: Haaland v Mbappe set up to be the battle of the year
Erling Haaland and Karim Benzema drew blanks in the Champions League semi-finals but Lautaro Martinez stepped up in his semi.
Kylian Mbappe led the 2022 top goalscorers list by six goals from the old man at Barcelona. But he could not win France the World Cup, the daft fraud.
The criteria: All club goals in all competitions for clubs in Europe’s top five leagues.
9) Thijs Dallinga – Toulouse (15 goals)
Us neither. He’s Dutch, he cost them about £2m in the summer and has scored nine Ligue Un goals in 2023. Some stat-padding against lower-league French sides in the cup was vindicated with two goals in a dismantling of Nantes in the final.
9) Harry Kane – Spurs (15 goals)
The fraudulent one-season wonder is on the brink of a 30-goal Premier League campaign for this Tottenham team. Is he actually… good?
8) Youssef En-Nesyri – Sevilla (16 goals)
David de Gea and Harry Maguire will be relieved not to see the 25-year-old again this season. En-Nesyri is having a fine year on the back of goals against Canada and Portugal en route to a World Cup semi-final.
7) Lautaro Martinez – Inter Milan (17 goals)
After going eight games without a goal between early March and mid-April, Martinez has scored eight and assisted three more in 10 games for the shock Champions League finalists. No wonder he is being linked with Manchester United.
6) Marcus Rashford – Man Utd (18 goals)
The Tories’ least favourite football personality not named Gary Lineker is thriving. The youngest English or Man Utd player to score 25 goals in European competition is not half bad.
5) Victor Osimhen – Napoli (18 goals)
Scored the title-clinching equaliser against Udinese, then one more for good measure in the procession of a win over Fiorentina. That makes it 18 goals in 23 games in 2023 for a striker wanted by every big club in Europe, but Napoli will want the prettiest penny possible.
4) Karim Benzema – Real Madrid (20 goals)
A hat-trick of hat-tricks in April against Real Valladolid, Barcelona and Almeria for a player who only continues to improve at 35. But he was toothless v Manchester City.
3) Alexandre Lacazette – Lyon (20 goals)
Scoring one of two four-goal hauls – poor Elye Wahi – in a ludicrous game between Lyon and Montpellier has certainly boosted the numbers of Lacazette, who is challenging Mbappe for the Ligue Un Golden Boot.
2) Kylian Mbappe – PSG (20 goals)
No goals in defeats to Bayern Munich, Rennes, Lyon or Nice has kept him well off the pace in 2023, though nine goals in the last six Ligue Un games has put the bully back on a flat track.
1) Erling Haaland – Manchester City (25 goals)
A 52-goal debut campaign. This is a ridiculous season from Haaland.